Improving the quality of your relationship is a life-long commitment and takes consistency and effort. However, it should not feel like work. Rather, a relationship should be an enjoyable and pleasurable thing that the tow of you share. Of course, there will inevitably be difficult times in any relationship, but for the most part it should be a fruitful and rewarding experience that benefits and enriches both of your lives.
Experts agree that one of the most important aspects of a successful and healthy relationship is good, honest and open communication. Without this, relationship will be very difficult to navigate and will likely end up in disaster at some point along the line.
So, here in this article, we a re going to share with you a few sound tips you can apply to help improve the communication in your relationship with your partner.
Improving Relationship Communication – What You Can Do
Be mindful of what you share
This may sound a little bit strange since you likely speak openly with your partner. I encourage open communication. However, it is still important to be aware of what you are sharing. Are you constantly complaining about your day or work? Are you focusing on the negatives? Many of us inadvertently use our partners as a “dumping ground” for our problems because we turn to them for support.
I am not suggesting that you do not confide in your partner or discuss your concerns and tribulations, but I am suggesting that you become more aware of the nature of what you’re sharing. Allow your partner to support you and listen to what is on your mind, but then do your best to vent or share your thoughts and then move on to something more positive or at least less heavy if this is what is occurring.
Keep this simple concept in mind: If you are unhappy with something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. – When we continue to complain about things we can’t change or we refuse to change our thought processes on, it is easy to continue to complain about the same things, which becomes daunting for a partner to hear. Be aware of this.
Remember that silence is a good thing
Or at least it can be. You do not always have to be in conversation with your partner and in fact, it is better if you are not. Do not make the mistake of feeling like you have to fill in the “awkward silence” with unnecessary thoughts and words just to fill the void. Work on becoming comfortable with silence. This actually shows that you are comfortable both with yourself and with the relationship.
Focus on positives, ideas, and interests and NOT on gossip
When we get caught up in talking about people or gossip we are opening up the door for negativity to enter into the relationship. Try to limit conversations revolving around people and gossip, but instead focus on the topics of ideas that interest you and the positive points to share.
Sharing common interests is a huge benefit to any relationship and gives two people a lot of interesting things to talk about that they both find exciting. You may also wish to talk about the positive aspects of your day, what made you feel good, what made you smile and what made you laugh. If there was something particularly funny that happened during your day then it’s a great thing to share with your partner as it will likely bring a shared smile to both of your faces. Moments like these can help to deepen the connection and bond that you feel with your partner.
Negativity is a known culprit to drive many couples away. No one likes to feel negative, however, like the common cold, negativity can be contagious. Even the most positive person can find themselves becoming worn down by negativity over time if they are living with someone who is constantly negative and critical. This can be a big killer of relationships for many. If you have recently suffered a breakup but you are trying to find ways to make things right and get back together with your partner then the American Dating Society has lots of good information to help you. You may want to start with this article about getting him back after a breakup.
Disconnect from your phone and devices
In order to connect with your partner, it is imperative to disconnect from your devices while you are engaged in active conversation. Even if you are only communicating about smaller tasks, this time is crucial because the smaller topics will help you build skills for conversing about the bigger ones.
Communication is a two-way street that involves our words, thoughts, energy, and our body language. In order to improve communication in any capacity, we must take a look at ourselves to understand our patterns and how we can make improvements to be a better communicator – whether that’s through shifting the topics we focus on, putting in conscious effort to focus more on positives, being aware of our body language, or working toward being an active listener.
I’m sure you can remember a time, or maybe even several times where you were trying to communicate with someone, but they kept checking their phone. Although they may not have meant to disrespect you in that moment, it is extremely rude and you probably felt like they didn’t care about having a conversation with you. Many people nowadays have an addiction to their phones and social media, which is actually rather sad. This addiction is causing more and more people to be less and less present in the moment, inhibiting them to have meaningful connections with others and causing them to miss life in general. Next time you are with your partner and the two of you are having a conversation and you feel that urge to check your phone, just stop, and remember how it made you feel when someone did this to you and what unconscious message that sent to you at that time. This is will a difficult habit to break, but over time and with a little effort and consistency you can break this negative habit and start to have more meaningful connections with your spouse again.
If you follow the steps above you will embark on a path of improving your communication skills.
If you are still feeling a little daunted about improving the area of your relationship, then watch this great video on other skills you need to help improve your relationship as well as great communication skills.